This post is going to stray slightly from the focus of this blog. However, because all of me comes from the same place deep within, it is just as much a part of my journey. If you do take anything from this, let it be that we all have a talent, we can all use our talents for good, we all face difficulties and if we resist the urge to panic, more often that not, things turn out okay. And if they don’t, we must stand up, dust ourselves off and keep ploughing along.
It is not unusual to wake up some mornings, feeling completely lost and unmotivated but it is especially difficult if you are self-employed in the creative industry. You don’t have a boss to please, so finding the zeal to get up and moving can be quite a challenge. Over the last few weeks, as I have tried to rev up marketing for the holiday season while streamlining and expanding ViJouX’s product base, I have noticed an increasing lack of focus and drive.
When I woke this morning to a gloomy day and feelings of loss and inadequacy, there was only ever going to be one place I turned to; my Bible. My faith is a big part of who I am even though I am not religious. Too many denominations have used dogma to try to win psychological and political control and that just doesn’t feel right – but that is a topic for another blog. I go to Church often but my faith lies in the quiet and unshakeable trust and belief in God, deep in my soul. I have done and been through enough to be convinced of His existence and bow to His superiority but lately, I have felt dissatisfied.
I want to wake up full of joy and laughter but all I feel is loneliness and sadness. Church is good but just doesn’t seem to reach the corners. I had not read my Bible in a while and figured it would be a good place to start. I said a prayer and then dug out an old Church dairy and got stuck into three readings.
The first said, if you do something in doubt or something that causes your brother to sin, it is a sin. You must live right and help your brother to live right. It doesn’t hurt to forego something you think is right, if it isn’t too important. That was okay. There are a couple of relationships that need to be tweaked and I can do that.
The second said, you must be still and have faith. Know that I am God and that I will bring you through whatever I bring you to. This hit home because as hard as I work, I do not see the return I expect, yet! But if my difficulties in life have taught me anything, it is patience.
The third said, as a child of God, you have been chosen to bring His word to others and win souls for him. This scared me so much, I began to cry. I am not an evangelist or a speaker. I do not want to talk to thousands of people I don’t know and be persecuted for my beliefs. That’s not me, I told God. And then I was reminded of the second lesson. Be still and have faith.
Next, I went on to facebook and found a clip by Croix Sather, posted by the Female Entrepreneurs Association. In it, Sather talks about living your purpose without fear and aiming for the big time, rather than sitting in the cheap seats. And then it hit me. God wasn’t saying I needed to ‘start a Church’; He was saying I needed to use what he gave me to his Glory. I needed to work hard, rest enough, live right, trust Him and stay humble and my life would be a beacon to others.
I have come a long way from where I used to be, physically and mentally, a few years ago. The road has not always been easy but there is no doubt that I am moving forward. The right people have come into my life to teach, help and push me in the right direction but lately, as the pressure piles on, I have forgotten to stop, take a step back and review so that’s where I am going to start; give myself permission to take a break and simply enjoy being, recharge my batteries, gather my thoughts and inspiration, and then power up to go again.
I must tell you, I feel so much better 🙂
To watch the excerpt from Croix Sather’s address, click on the link below: